Dear Readers

So here's the deal... I love blogging, I really really do, but I also love my anonymity and my job. Well, not so much my job, but having a job has been a big plus in my life, especially for my checking account. As for my anonymity, it seems to be nonexistent at this point. All of my friends know about this blog, as well as my mom and dad, and because I'm always spewing shit out all over the internet (and almost every single day) I have managed during the one year span of this blog to frustrate/enrage/irritate almost every single person that has ever had the pleasure of knowing me personally.

Once, after a posting about drugs, my mother broke her strict no-talking-to-me policy to tell me that I was putting my dad in an early grave and that, if I should happen to be having second thoughts about my decision to stop snorting cocaine for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, then maybe I should let them know now, before I blow everything I have on blow.

And then there is the subject of my on-again/off-again boyfriend, V. I'm not even going to go there right now. Do you know why? Because he reads this, that's why.

It has gotten so bad that, if I haven't heard from a friend in several weeks, I automatically assume that one post or another has pissed them off and they have decided not to talk to me anymore. But, as many problems as I have encountered because of this blog, I never once anticipated my jobby job to be compromised. And it hasn't been - yet - but thanks to a close encounter with reality recently I realized that it very easily could be. So I password protected my site and unpublished almost all of my blog entries for the past seven months.

I think you can tell where this is going. I have loved having this blog, through it I have met and become friends with so many amazing people - from Aislin in Indiana to a reality TV producer in L.A. to a Green Eyed Geisha in Japan to a real-life princess with a red passport that is going to kick my ass after she reads this post, but I can't continue discussing every little detail of my life the way I have been. And, since I refuse to censor myself, I'm left with very few alternatives.

Yeah, I will still spit out nonsense occasionally (I'm thinking about going back to my Characters Of Japan Series and expanding it) and, as always, I'm only an email away, but from now on Tokyo Cowgirl is going to be less Cowgirl, more Tokyo (slash Texas slash New York City). Hopefully you understand, and hopefully you'll stick around for my future antics, however obscure they may be.

Talk to you later!

XXX
~Me 

Comments

[Chris]

As much as I enjoy reading your posts, I can certainly understand what you've done. It shows good judgement, common sense and an eye towards the future on your part. Personally I am too paranoid to have posted as much about my life as you have! Look forward to future posts.

[Erik]

I sort of did the same thing when I first moved to Japan. There was no real plan going into the thing, so I just started writing practically everything that happened or that crossed my mind. I also sent the link to most everyone I know. At some point it did cross my mind that it might not be cool for coworkers/certain friends/family members to know all aspects of my life, in that detail - so I killed the thing.

Blogging can be a release of sorts...but it's also a fine line of openness & anonymity. Much like you said...

I'm kind of battling with that right now, as I sort of want to let it all hang out there, but then again I'm not sure that I do.

Anyway, good luck (I am intrigued by the close encounter though)

[Kira]

Totally understandable. I will still read whatever you post, as I imagine that the style will still remain humourous and slightly bitchy, which is what I have come to expect and love.

[Reannon]

Wow. How did you get almost found out? My friend got fired from her job for letting it slip about the company she worked for on her blog. She didn't even say anything negative but it didn't matter because she'd broken some rule in her contract. This was in Japan though.

I often worry about the same thing...especially since I use my real name. I worry that future employers will read what I've written and think that I'm psycho and not want to hire me. But at the same time, I think it's important to be open, honest and genuine. I don't know, it's a really fine line.

There's a lot that I intentionally leave out though...stuff about my family or ex-boyfriends for the same reasons you mentioned: They could read what I write!

I think you should write a Characters in New York series. That could be interesting. You'd have to come up with an unique angle though, because I'm sure it's been blogged about in the past.

Good luck! Don't quit writing!

[Ashley]

This makes me sad, but I understand as well. I have to block work friends from my Facebook so they can't ever link back to the various blogs I write for, or they would probably fire me. It sometimes amazes me how much of our real selves we expose for the entire world to see, should they ever choose to put in the time and effort it would take to find them. I hope that you will keep in touch, and that you will continue to write for someone, somewhere, and that I'll run across your writing again, even if I don't know it's you...:D

[Aya]

I was afraid this was happening, as I wrote about your web malfunction on my blog in fear that something bad is/will happen and I guess thats true:(

Well, I know I don't comment that often, but I have read every single one of your blog entries (in the most un-obsessive way of course)and it has given me an escape to my somewhat boring life in san antonio. I have truley enjoyed your blog and I hope the VERY best for you and I completley respect your decision.

Hollaa:P

-aya

[Z]

sniff.
(that's all i have to say.)

[Dan]

Ah this is so sad :( But I will keep reading every single word that appears on this blog, no matter what the content!

[Dani]

well, I was wondering what had happened... I will still be reading no matter what...

[GEG]

Ah Cowgirl it's been a wild ride (ugh how cliche). You pulled me out of my no-comment slump! I most definitely understand but will miss seeing new posts for your blog when I check googlereader in the morning. Maybe it's time to go underground? I can't wait to read more.

[greg]

so yeah - you never made me mad with any of your posts - TIL NOW!!!!

how am i going to make it through my mornings without your blog? i just don't think i'll be able to do it...

and all i have to console myself is a single folded paper towel...

[Jessica Cakuls]

I would have responded earlier but I've been in abject denial that you may not write again in a public sphere. However, if you create a new anonymous blog, let us know, somehow. You're one of the best and most distinctive voices out there. Get in touch with me if you find the time and keep writing! That's an order!

[Coop]

So are you just not posting altogether anymore? Or just can't think of something to post about?

[seta]

wow, great blog, I hope I can visit Japan at a later, and I hope may also be a time you will also want to visit Indonesia :D

[Karen Olivia]

I love reading your posts and your wit and humor but it's totally understandable for you to make this decision. Either way, I hope everything goes well for you!

Cheers,
Karen O.